Sunday began with a magical realism flavored coming into consciousness – a mash up of Girl On Fire (Alicia Keys) and One Safe Place (Marc Horn?) and then as I slowly closed my eyes, I saw the yarn at the very bottom of my yarn bin and the write up for Fishnet Stitch.
I think I fell asleep again but woke up fully when I realized that I was going to ignore all other projects and start work on a shawl – because who ignores knitting inspiration like that? Especially when it comes as the answer to a problem you’d been kicking around in the back of your mind for about three years?
Let me back up.
I knew I was going to marry my wife about three months into us dating – I felt it, yes, but all of her close friends basically pronounced us married upon meeting me. It was weird.
One of said friends in-law, has been after me to join her Prayer Shawl group, which has always felt weird, but since I was in the middle of some serious school, I never quite had time – not that this stopped me from purchasing some lovely yarn one random afternoon. Unfortunately, I didn’t know what to do with it so it just ended up one of the first things being tossed into the yarn bin, where it languished for a long time, even as I got another invitation last Thursday and just shrugged it off. I had socks to knit so I deleted the e-mail and went back to the socks.
Okay, let’s be real for just a moment – I promise it has to do with the project. When I was invited to this group for the first time, I had just had a breakdown and was subsequently diagnosed with PTSD. It made sense. I grew up in a war zone and later, my unwitting parents moved into a war zone of a different nature when we immigrated to the States. This was normal in my mind, but it caught up with me when I started the process to get my citizenship. Things got dark for a while, even with treatment and I stopped being able to knit. It stood to reason that a person incapable of sleeping without brain-melting, horror film worthy nightmares had zero business knitting something intended to comfort someone going through their own version of hell.
Things got a bit better, I went from all bad days to a mix of bad/not so bad/horror/okay and I started to knit again. Sunday I woke up with hope and I thought it was time to dig up that gorgeous fiery yarn and pour said hope into it. This is how Girl On Fire was born. I’m not religious or even super spiritual but if I can share my good day with someone, I’m all for it. I hope it goes to some fiery spirit, who needs their inner embers stoked to a full bonfire level flame.